Conversations in Married Land

Me: So I weighed myself at the gym today and I lost one pound.

Sebastien (looking unimpressed): Well a shit weighs about a pound so that doesn’t mean anything.

Me (angry): Well you just took a one pound dump on my head.

Sebastien: But it’s true.

Me: Why do you always have to negate every good thing that happens to me?

Sebastien (sincere): I’m sorry, you’re right. Congratulations on losing one pound. You really needed to lose weight.

About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

2 responses to “Conversations in Married Land

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