A Not Too Grand Entrance

The DJ recently asked me to send him songs we want played for our entrance and our first dance. We already have our first dance song planned out, but in terms of the entrance, I thought we would just appear or enter with the rest of the crowd. Why do something fancy? People already know what we look like. And I don’t want everyone staring at me as I make my way down the stairs. The likelihood of my tripping is already pretty high because I’ll be in heels and if I know that everyone is looking at me, I’ll be even more self-conscious. Plus, entering to music is just asking for trouble. I can’t perform on command like that.

The last time I made a grand entrance was at my sister’s wedding. Everyone was to enter the dining hall to the theme music for the Price Is Right. (She married a man whose last name is Price.) I suggested to the bridal party that we all enter the room like contestants being called up in the show, screaming and flailing our arms. Everyone agreed to the idea, or at least I thought they did. When the doors swung open and I entered the dining hall, I looked like a jackass. I threw up my arms and squealed with delight like a monkey chasing after a squirrel. The groomsman escorting me calmly walked into the room with a half-smile. Not to mention the fact that none of the guests  made the connection between the theme song playing in the background and my eccentric behavior.

To save myself from looking like an idiot at my own wedding, I think I might eliminate the entrance. Instead I can just wave from a stool near the bar during the cocktail hour. Or, Sebastien and I will enter the room in total silence and stoically welcome our guests just like relatives greeting one another at a funeral.


About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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