The Newly Invited

We have quite a few people who can’t come to the wedding. Admittedly, we did make it  as difficult as possible for people to get here. The wedding is in Stamford, CT and a lot of our close friends and family are in Florida, Canada, France or Chicago. And we are holding the wedding in March, prime time for travel delays and snow storms.

Needless to say, we have a lot of seats to fill. So I’ve decided to invite a few other friends we couldn’t budget for.

Along with those other friends, I would like to extend the invitation to a few washed up celebrities:

Vanilla Ice. He might come in handy if the music is bad. (As mentioned in a previous post, I gave the DJ a limited list of music I enjoy.)

Carrie Fisher. I just have a lot of questions about the making of Star Wars. And there’s free booze and food–I’m told she loves both–so why wouldn’t she come?

And LeVar Burton, just so he can see what he is missing. We were supposed to wed back when I was seven and he was the host of Reading Rainbow.


About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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