The Great Wedding Industry Hoax

I’ve already mentioned my friend who brought over shoes she thought would go nice with my dress. After declining all four pairs, we ended the day with an agreement to go shoe shopping together. I blocked off a few hours in my calendar and set aside some money.

And then I came to my senses.

It was Sunday afternoon, the day I had planned on going out to buy the shoes. I wasn’t particularly interested in shopping that day, but I told myself I needed to get the shoes soon so I could take my dress to get hemmed.

“I’m going shoe shopping this afternoon,” I told Sebastien.

“Shoe shopping?” he said. He sounded surprised because I have been wearing the same few pairs of shoes for five years now. And he knows how much I dread shopping. I prefer to shop online, adding items to a virtual cart only to exit the website 15 minutes later without making a purchase. (We’ve all got our guilty pleasures.)

I continued: “Yeah, I need to get shoes for the wedd–”

Then it hit me. The answer to my problem. I walked over to the closet and flung open the doors. Reaching down, I sifted through boots and sneakers and pulled out two pairs of black heels. I brushed the dust off and set them in front of the couch for Sebastien to see.

“They almost got me,” I said. “I was about to go out and buy new shoes when I have two pairs right here.”

Sebastien wasn’t that amazed and turned back to his computer.

I couldn’t believe it. I had come so close to falling for one of the many wedding industry ploys to buy crap I don’t really need. If I ever mention getting glue-on eyelashes for the wedding, someone should hit me. Hard.

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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