Inside Voices, Please

It occurred to me that this wedding is going to be a relatively noisy occasion. All of those people crammed in a room with a DJ and an open bar…I just might have to take refuge in the bathroom.

I’m not a big fan of noise. I guess that’s why I don’t like going out much or hosting parties.

This past New Year’s Eve though, a friend coaxed me into hosting a party. I limited the number of guests to keep the noise level down, but close to midnight, people started to get louder. Then a friend came up with a bad idea: “Why don’t we turn on the TV and do a countdown and watch the ball drop,” she said. Her eyes lit up with excitement.

“I don’t know, it sounds kind of loud,” I said, a blank expression on my face. It wasn’t my idea of fun. The previous New Year’s, Sebastien and I spent the evening watching Downfall. I think the loudest part of the night was Hitler yelling at his staff in the bunker. That’s as much excitement and noise as I can handle. So I don’t know what I’ll do for the wedding.

I’ll have to give the DJ some extra money to keep the noise level down, maybe tell people that a speaker broke. And he can keep the volume of the microphone down so any speeches can be recited in library voices.

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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