Step by Step

Sebastien and I decided that we are going to have a first dance. We figured we would exploit ourselves for the sake of our guests.

I was uneasy about the idea of a performance at first. There’s a part of me that would prefer to just sit in a corner the entire evening of my wedding. I would honestly be content if everyone just left me alone. I really just want to sit and observe those around me.

But now that we have decided to perform a dance at the wedding, we need some ideas about what to do. Sebastien is not very flexible and I never had any dance moves. When I was in third grade, my friend and I signed up for a dance competition. Or rather, she begrudgingly allowed me to join her dance group. It was not going to be pretty. Whereas this friend had an extensive background in the art form of dance, I spent my spare time wearing fake fingernails and playing carnie with my siblings.

On the day of the contest, my friend knew the routine by heart. Throughout the whole dance, I kept running behind the curtain and signaling to her to show me what to do. At one point she tried to gesture a sort of split jump. I misinterpreted and leaped onto the stage in a split. I wasn’t sure what to do from there so my body just dropped to the hardwood floor, still maintaining the split position. That was the first and last time I entered a dance contest.

So we’re going to keep the bar pretty low for our dance.

A routine like the one performed for the North Korean Mass Games might be too elaborate for our purposes. And I don’t particularly care to dance for the Dear Leader, the late Kim Jong-Il.

But, as I mentioned, I used to be a baton twirler. So I’ll bring my baton along just in case. Guests have been warned.

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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