Invitation Mistakes

We should have never given guests the option of selecting meal choices for this wedding. In my haste to send out the invitation emails, I neglected to include information for people to submit their meal choices when they RSVP. Now I have to hunt everyone down to find out if they want shrimp, beef or a vegetarian dinner. I don’t know how I’m going to keep track of all of this and I’m sure someone is going to end up with a kosher meal even though that’s not on the menu.

Can you imagine the scene if a vegetarian gets a plate of meat instead of cauliflower and green beans? The non-meat eater will probably start foaming at the mouth and might go into convulsions–partly due to hunger and partly due to a lack of protein. I know, I was a vegetarian for a while. (Of course I could never get rid of my meat tooth so it didn’t last long.)

We’ve got another friend who can’t have any flour and I just don’t know what she is going to do. Snack on peanuts during the cocktail hour, I suppose. And for dinner she can mix them with club soda to make a porridge-like meal and sprinkle sugar on them for dessert.

I thought it would be nice to give people an option for meal choices, but now I’m annoyed at the prospect of answering questions about dietary restrictions.

What happened to the good old days at weddings when everyone got a rubber piece of chicken?

About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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