The future is bleaker than you think

I am a product of the age of technology. It is a glorious age where people can ignore phone calls thanks to call waiting, shoppers can forgo harassment from perky salespeople by making purchases online, and a combination taser music player allows a young woman in a dark alley to ward off an attacker while listening to the latest Lady Gaga album. Technology leads to a better and brighter future, I’m told. This is not the case for everyone, though.

I have spent the past two hours trying to create wedding invitations in Photoshop to no avail.

My first attempt took 20 minutes and I managed to change the color of my “canvas” from white to gray using a series of carefully thought out “chalk” brush strokes.

After 30 more minutes, I managed to add some color and texture.

Then I began a search for the perfect photo to accompany the blue background. I typed the word candelabra in google and I wasn’t sure how to handle the result.


I wanted something more classic or Gothic. So I tried the words Gothic candelabra. The image was certain to confuse some of the guests.

Sebastien sat down next to me on the couch and asked if he could help. I had a better idea. “Why don’t we just send everyone an email,” I said. “No picture, just basic text that gets the point across.” He didn’t respond. “Or I can just write the pertinent information on a post-it note.”

We both stared into the distance, imaging a simpler time.

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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