Introducing My Fake Fiance

As most of you know, I have been signing up for various bridal events in the city to help me dissect every aspect of the wedding industry. Most of the registration forms ask for my personal information and that of my fiance. Sebastien would probably pre-divorce me if he started getting phone calls and emails from florists, DJs and photographers (and I wouldn’t blame him) so I have created a fake fiance to play the part.

Name: Luke Poulin (He’s Swiss so it is pronounced Poo-Lone)

Telephone:  555-0199 (like Lester Burnham from American Beauty)

Email: PPLuke@gmail.com

Occupation: Chocolatier

Annual income: $40,000 (Again, he’s Swiss so money isn’t as important as spending time with family.)

If anyone ever prods me for more information on my fake fiance, I have prepared the follow statements:

He was born in Bern, Switzerland and is fluent in French, German and English. He enjoys hiking and skiing and his favorite food is pizza. He listens to Radiohead and likes watching comedies.

(By my prediction, Luke and I will divorce in two years when he realizes that he is gay. The marriage success rate is much higher with Sebastien.)

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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