On Showing Excitement About a Wedding

There are many things I get overly excited about: Kurt Vonnegut books, the French language, ice cream, getting a bargain at Filene’s Basement. But I’ve never been one to show girly excitement. You know, when our voices get three decibels higher than normal and we squeal with delight like we’ve just been called up to The Price Is Right. I just can’t do it. But I suspect this is how people expect me to act when it comes to getting married.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, but I can’t even match the excitement I see on other people’s faces when they hear the big news.

“Oh my god,” they shout, eyes and mouth wide open like the Ronald McDonald you speak into at the drive-thru. “You’re getting married?”

My response has never changed. “Yes,” I say. Sometimes with a smile, sometimes without one. I respond in the affirmative just as I would to a question like Do you want more coffee? or Have you flossed today? No tricks up my sleeve, no need for banter. They ask the question and I answer.

In response to my response, most people’s faces turn sour like I just gave them a severe case of indigestion. And I don’t understand what I am doing wrong. Most of these women are unmarried anyway, so I’m kind of performing an act of charity by not growing overly excited about the news. I know I would hate it if I were single and had to listen to a newly engaged woman run down a laundry list of all the things she loves about him, all of her appointments with dress shops and New York’s finest florists, blah blah blah. But my good intentions don’t seem to be coming off that way.

So I just want to know what am I doing wrong? I’ve tried to be more upbeat lately. I practice smiling more in the mirror and have amended my response to “Yes. Thank you.” But the reaction hasn’t improved much.

Is there something I’m missing? How have other women responded when confronted with this?

Feel free to share your stories.

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

One response to “On Showing Excitement About a Wedding

  • G.

    Save a photo smile for the wedding day but the real one may only come back the day after. The planning is more hassle than fun… That’s what your friends don’t know yet. Except for men. We have a hassle alarm.

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