Taking Him and His Name

We are going to City Hall to sign our lives away to one another in a few months and I’ve been wondering about the whole taking his last name annoyance that comes along with marriage. I hear it is such a pain to switch names and takes a level of effort that I would only be wiling to exert if the chore came with money or a title of nobility like “Von” or “De.”

I never thought I would be in this position, but I feel that by taking his name I will lose a part of myself. The name’s been with me for 28 years and I take pride in people saying it. Not to mention people have trouble saying Sebastien’s name and they never say it with a French accent.

I could always hyphenate my name. But as this WSJ blogger points out, hyphenation lacks elegance and it could sound messy. Kraft-Fortas isn’t too bad, but someone might mistake me for a divorcee. Other couples combine their two last names to create an entirely different name that is all their own. I’m not sure that option will work for us, though: Foraft, Kratas, Fraft – they all sound like bird squawks.

So I’ve made a list of pros and cons to help with this decision.

Pros

-No one will ever be able to cal me Amy Crap again, like that mean boy in fourth grade. If I ever find him…

-My initials will be A.L.F. (That’s right, I know some of you are jealous.)

Cons

-My name is Kraft: In German it means strength and is even written on a piece of equipment in the captured German u-boat. Sebastien’s name doesn’t mean anything. He thinks it might be Portugese even though he is not.

-I will lose the ability to relate my name to Kraft macaroni and cheese. My name is Kraft. Kraft, like the macaroni and cheese. I’ve been saying that line my entire life and it never gets old. To this day I say it and get a chuckle.
   
Maybe we should get rid of both our last names all together and combine our first names. Sebemy. Now that has zip. It would make a great name for bottled water or a cemetery.

Sebemy Springs, natural spring water

Sebemy Springs, when you’re here, you’re home

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About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

One response to “Taking Him and His Name

  • TravelingHatter

    I tell people my name is Elsie like the cow (you young people might not know of the Borden’s milk mascot), Brady like the “Bunch,” Kraft like the cheese, and Richmond like Richmond, VA. Yet, there is line from the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” that I love which is relative to going through various life stages which says: “Don’t let the past dictate who you are, but allow it to be a part of who you become.” Perhaps the quote will help you with your decision.

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