The Truth About Wedding Favors

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When I see advertisements for wedding favors, I’m reminded of those cheap plastic goodie bags parents gave out to kids who attended their son’s or daughter’s birthday party. The bags were full of crap like those sticky hands that ripped apart after the first time you tried to use them, spinning tops and plastic whistles, which were usually confiscated minutes after kids took them out of the bag.  For me, goodie bags were the most disappointing part of birthday parties and now they have come back to bite me in the adult ass.

On top of inviting people to an evening of fine dining and dancing — and did I mention the four hours of open bar service — etiquette dictates that I offer guests small gifts as a gesture of appreciation. And the gifts are just as tacky as the ones I was getting when I was eight.

One wedding favor site advertises La Tour Eiffel bottle openers. Admittedly more practical than paper fans and tuxedo mints, but let’s face it, people are going to get really drunk and try to open already opened bottles of alcohol at the wedding because there will be a bartender whose job it is to open wine bottles.

Another site suggests to give guests bubble tubes for endless hours of fun. Each tube is 4 inches long and made of glass so it could be used as a makeshift crack pipe in case Grandma needs to get her fix. But other than that, I can’t think of what the rest of my friends and family are going to do with them. Throw them in the garbage is my guess. I’m willing to bet that’s where most of this stuff ends up after a wedding if it makes it out of the reception hall.


About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

3 responses to “The Truth About Wedding Favors

  • Susan

    My husband & I made a donation to an organization we knew rather than add candles, mints, bubbles etc to the landfill. Bonus if you can find an org that can give you little cards or something to give guests something tangible to take with them.

    • Mrs. Frankenscience

      That’s a great idea. I’ve read a lot about couples who gave back to charities by putting foundation names on their wedding registry, etc, and I’ve been thinking about how I want to do that.

  • TravelingHatter

    I think edible favors are the best. Once they are eaten, they are gone and do not end up in someone’s junk drawer or the trash. The last wedding that I attended offered guests the opportunity to fill bags with sweet treats from a candy buffet. The guests enjoyed it so much that some greedy soul stole my goody bag from my place at the table while I was saying good bye to the guests. Since your venue is an old bank building, might I suggest that you give yours guests little bags of chocolate gold coins.

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