Rate The Wedding Vendor

If I had to pick a wedding venue based solely on my interaction with the vendor, I would have to go with the Inn at Longshore in Westport, CT.

The woman who met with us there was a nice, easy to get along with person who anyone (even mimes or satanists) can have a casual conversation with at a dinner party. She said key phrases that I for one think every bride and groom should hear, like “you guys are awesome.” That phrase gave me confidence not only in her affability but also in her ability to judge how good Sebastien and I really are as a couple. Unfortunately, the reception site was kind of plain.

Before our appointment at the Inn at Longshore, we went to The Red Barn (an old restaurant with colonial charm). From the moment we walked in, I gave the owner points for 1) being old (I’m a sucker for old people) and 2) walking with a cane. The cane symbolized wisdom and humility. The man also had a faint scar down the side of his face that occupied most of my attention while he was going over wedding packages.* But when it all came down to it, the guy was your regular business man. He kept repeating things such as “your fairy tale wedding,” or “a dream come true.” If he was planing on giving me the moon and the stars, too, I would have told him where to shove them. My guess is the guy has seen one too many episodes of Bridezillas, The Bachelorette or My Super Sweet Sixteen and thinks every female acts like those people. I’m a pretty laid back person so I naturally took offense to his insinuation that I wanted a fairy tale wedding.

And when we did talk about negotiating price there was something sneaky about the ease with which he agreed to throw in the champagne toast for no additional charge.

The place before that was Bank Street Events. I liked the venue and that’s all I can really say. I don’t even remember the manager’s name let alone what he looked like. He’s the kind of guy that you work next to for five years and learn his name when he signs it on your retirement card.

If only picking a wedding venue were that easy.



*Amy:  “I couldn’t stop looking at the scar on the side of his face.”

Sebastien: “What scar?”

Amy: “He had a scar on the side of his face. I think it was from plastic surgery. There wasn’t a wrinkle in his skin.”

Sebastien: “Or it could have been from the war.”

Amy: “Huh?”

Sebastien: “There was a photo of his son dressed in an army uniform. So his son probably followed in his footsteps and went into the army after him.”

Amy: “Oh, and that’s how he hurt his leg.”

Sebastien nods.

Amy: “That makes perfect sense. I wonder if he was in the same war as Stuart [my stepfather].”

Sebastien: “No, he didn’t look that old. Maybe it was Vietnam.”

Amy: “You’re probably right.”

Sebastien laughs. “I totally created a life for this guy based on practically nothing.”

Amy: “You’re probably right.”

About JadedBride

Amy Kraft is a print and radio journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in publications including Scientific American, Discover, Popular Science, The Week, Psychology Today, and Distillations, a podcast out of the Chemical Heritage Foundation. She is currently working on a book of humor essays. View all posts by JadedBride

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